Trust among Sticky Cobwebs

I wrote not too long ago comparing mistletoe on oak trees to sin and how damaging either can be if left unchecked.

Right now I'm not being hampered by sin, but by sticky, cobwebby cares that don't want to let go. They cling as soon as I take my eyes off our Lord. Like St. Peter in the stormy waves, I sink when my focus drifts from Him.

I've made a difficult decision, one that will eventually bring health and healing to me and those I love, but on another level it brings grief. There is personal loss for me and disappointment for others. When I focus on those things, the cobwebs surround me.

Jesus beckons to me from the waves, asking me to trust, even when change feels difficult. I admit that I can be a cowardly decision maker. I love decisions that "make themselves," such as my deciding to become Catholic. I was driven toward that goal; the desire to receive Christ in the Eucharist compelled me in an irrestible way. Tentatively stepping out of the boat, however, is not so easy, and that's where faith comes in. It's being willing to work without a net (at least not a visible one).

My earthly father was a very strong swimmer, and when I was young, he took my brother and me for rides into deep water. He asked us to hold onto his back while he swam. It didn't seem dangerous to me because I trusted his strength and skill. It didn't matter that I didn't know how to swim well yet because I knew my father did.

Taking baby steps on the water is what I'm asked to do right now. My life preserver is the knowledge of my Heavenly Father's goodness and grace. Hope sees the road, trust takes the step, and faith pushes forward.

"All things work together for good for them that love God and are called according to His purposes." Romans 8:28

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1