Sunday, December 27, 2009

Filling Holes in Vain

How vainly we try to fill the holes that have been blown wide in our hearts! You, truly, are the only antidote to emptiness. Yet I find myself chasing bubbles. Comfort from these false gods is stretched thin; it betrays in the end, empty as vapor.

May He who filled the universe with swirling galaxies be the one to fill my heart.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Merry Christmas!

I attended a parish out of town for Christmas Mass this morning; it was a big church, old and beautiful, with many seats, yet it was very crowded. I entered the church alone, but once I was within I was surrounded by fellow pilgrims, all come to worship Christ. When the first strains of "O Come, All Ye Faithful" began, I found that I was overcome, so much so that I couldn't join in singing the opening hymn. Tears sprang to my eyes for the glory, the majesty, the sheer awesomeness of it all. Though the magi made their journey to see Him more than two millenia ago, people still gather to marvel at His birth. And who am I that I should be among them? I know not why God has wooed me to Himself. I can only be thankful that His gentle presence was with me from earliest childhood, though I didn't know His name... and that He led me into the waters of baptism as a teen... and that I am here now - amazingly! - as part of His Church. I pray that through His continued grace, I will always seek Him like the magi, and that He will be welcome to make His home in my heart like the humble manger where He lay so many years ago.

Just a Note about the Post Below...

Just after I posted about being adrift, I spent time reading "The Sacrament of the Present Moment" (also known as "Abandonment to Divine Providence") and found a similar analogy used in a positive way. We are encouraged to be at peace while God directs our raft; being in a time of waiting is good. I like that. :)

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Lean Not Unto Your Own Understanding

It is good that God does not expect us to understand each nuance of our journey with Him; if he did, I'd be lost. I am in a spiritual "holding dock" right now, moving neither forward nor backward, just waiting to see what God will do next. Perhaps it is like the safe, secure darkness of a womb, with birth pending but unseen. I like that analogy; it's very positive.

It may be my overly busy schedule that is keeping me from "feeling" God as I normally do. Or perhaps it is the calm after a great, stressful storm, and I am allowed to float free on my raft without wind, at least for a time. I am not in the doldrums exactly (pictured at left), but I'm not moving forward either.

But this will pass. Perhaps I just need a spot of rest. For now I will fall back on His wings and let Him fly. I'll relax like a feather in the wind.