I've had an interest in being many things in my life, some of which are listed here:Psychologist
Marine Biologist
Chemist
Teacher
Politician
Helper to the poor
Pastor's Wife
World Leader (sounds silly I know, but as a child, I really admired Golda Meir)
But at bottom, deep inside, what I really wanted was to have a home filled with love, children and a husband who was my best friend. I stuffed that achy desire deep down in a well somewhere in my soul. I wasn't sure if it was OK to want that. (Mostly I wasn't sure if it was OK for ME to want that.) I chased years of false dreams before I gave in to what I really wanted.
The other night at Mass, the priest gave a blessing to pregnant women. He asked all the mothers in the church to stand and join him in blessing them. It came to me as I stood: I am exactly who I want to be, a mom with no regrets. How did I get so lucky?
I was looking for a picture of me in the throes of Mommyness (an "action shot" :), but, alas, we had no digital camera when the children were young. I chose this picture of my husband and me and I think it's appropriate. After all, without Russ' Daddyness, there would certainly be no Mommyness for me. And it was taken on a Mother's Day.
Oh, how grateful I am for this adventure!
5 comments:
Golda Meir, huh? Well, at least you did not desire to 'be POPE'. I do not understand; why all women ... cannot just be satisfied ... to be female. We are prettier, smarter, thinkers, and etc ... AND, yes, I do know ... that some of us have to work. But Mommyness was always first with me also. Congratulations for reaching your goal. DIEU TE BENISSE!!!
Cajun Sissy
Dear Esther, please forgive my lateness in not replying to your recent sweet e.mails, I have been laid a bit low with a stomach bug but am now recovering : ) Thank you so much for the oak tree photo that you posted on your blog for me! It really cheered me up no end and was a much needed friendly gesture after a couple of unhappy duvet days! Thank you so much again, I'll be in touch shortly once I have found my landlegs ; ) love from the kite woman : ) x p.s. I loved your Mommyness post!
Dear Esther, please forgive my lateness in not replying to your recent sweet e.mails, I have been laid a bit low with a stomach bug but am now recovering : ) Thank you so much for the oak tree photo that you posted on your blog for me! It really cheered me up no end and was a much needed friendly gesture after a couple of unhappy duvet days! Thank you so much again, I'll be in touch shortly once I have found my landlegs ; ) love from the kite woman : ) x p.s. I loved your Mommyness post!
I hope you feel better soonest, Kite Woman! Glad you enjoyed the tree. :)
PS Your comment has cheered me up, as well, Kite Woman. I look forward to hearing from you.
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