Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Mommyness

I've had an interest in being many things in my life, some of which are listed here:

Psychologist
Marine Biologist
Chemist
Teacher
Politician
Helper to the poor
Pastor's Wife
World Leader (sounds silly I know, but as a child, I really admired Golda Meir)

But at bottom, deep inside, what I really wanted was to have a home filled with love, children and a husband who was my best friend. I stuffed that achy desire deep down in a well somewhere in my soul. I wasn't sure if it was OK to want that. (Mostly I wasn't sure if it was OK for ME to want that.) I chased years of false dreams before I gave in to what I really wanted.

The other night at Mass, the priest gave a blessing to pregnant women. He asked all the mothers in the church to stand and join him in blessing them. It came to me as I stood: I am exactly who I want to be, a mom with no regrets. How did I get so lucky?

I was looking for a picture of me in the throes of Mommyness (an "action shot" :), but, alas, we had no digital camera when the children were young. I chose this picture of my husband and me and I think it's appropriate. After all, without Russ' Daddyness, there would certainly be no Mommyness for me. And it was taken on a Mother's Day.

Oh, how grateful I am for this adventure!

5 comments:

Macile Hooper LeJeune said...

Golda Meir, huh? Well, at least you did not desire to 'be POPE'. I do not understand; why all women ... cannot just be satisfied ... to be female. We are prettier, smarter, thinkers, and etc ... AND, yes, I do know ... that some of us have to work. But Mommyness was always first with me also. Congratulations for reaching your goal. DIEU TE BENISSE!!!
Cajun Sissy

A Kite Rises said...

Dear Esther, please forgive my lateness in not replying to your recent sweet e.mails, I have been laid a bit low with a stomach bug but am now recovering : ) Thank you so much for the oak tree photo that you posted on your blog for me! It really cheered me up no end and was a much needed friendly gesture after a couple of unhappy duvet days! Thank you so much again, I'll be in touch shortly once I have found my landlegs ; ) love from the kite woman : ) x p.s. I loved your Mommyness post!

A Kite Rises said...

Dear Esther, please forgive my lateness in not replying to your recent sweet e.mails, I have been laid a bit low with a stomach bug but am now recovering : ) Thank you so much for the oak tree photo that you posted on your blog for me! It really cheered me up no end and was a much needed friendly gesture after a couple of unhappy duvet days! Thank you so much again, I'll be in touch shortly once I have found my landlegs ; ) love from the kite woman : ) x p.s. I loved your Mommyness post!

Esther said...

I hope you feel better soonest, Kite Woman! Glad you enjoyed the tree. :)

Esther said...

PS Your comment has cheered me up, as well, Kite Woman. I look forward to hearing from you.