Timing of Life

I haven't been posting for a while; it's been a full month and a half. It's hard to believe how quickly time flies! In the time I've been gone, I've gotten up to speed in a new job, taken on a third one, helped my son in various senior year activities (including an ambitious Eagle Scout project, of which we're in the middle), and joined the aspirant program at a Carmelite monastery. (That's aspiring to be a secular Carmelite, not a professed religious. I'm too happy being married for that lifestyle. ;) For what it's worth, I'm happy to be back in Blogland.

Photo credit

Miracle of Grace

A road through vineyards led me
To where I found God's grace
It met me in abundance there
Before I left that space

A humble priest behind a veil
Softly spoke God's will
Kneeling in the shadows there
I listened, my heart still

The abundance of the Sacrament
Fills this heart of mine
I came broken, in despair
But left in joy sublime

Peace rested in my soul that day
It fills me even now
A miracle was wrought in me
God's endless healing power

Thank you, Father Xavier
For being there that day
And thank you, Holy Spirit
For the kindness of your ways

Choose Life

My heart longs to save life on this planet. Tiny, sweet, innocent life, fresh and new, full of hope, just beginning. Each time a sperm and egg unite, a new being, with its own DNA and fingerprints, is created, unique from its father and mother. The fingerprint of God is stamped anew on humanity.

"Abortion is the biggest lie perpetrated on women in our culture today," said the woman sitting across from me many years ago. (My children were babies then.) I had never thought of it that way, and her strong statement startled me. That brief second in the history of my life began a journey which has culminated in, other than motherhood, the most important work I will ever do: saving the unborn and helping women avoid the lie. I have just begun to fight, and I pray the Lord will graciously continue His work through me in whatever small way I can contribute.

Tomorrow I will visit a counseling center for women in crisis pregnancies. I will report back on the miracles being wrought there. :)

"Being confident of this: that He who began a good work in you will carry it forward to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6 (one of my "life verses")

Do It Anyway

This is the prayer Mother Teresa kept on her wall. It is the one she read at the beginning of each day. It no doubt inspired her to keep going, in spite of many obstacles. It does the same for me (immensely!), and here it is for you:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Be successful anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, others may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it will be between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

I have written about my affinity for Mother Teresa here. Her works of charity and great love inspire and move me. But the words she so cherished in this prayer teach me something new: I may be exactly where God wants me to be, and things may still go wrong. I may live out my call to Christ in the best way I know how, and what I do may be destroyed. This doesn't mean I'm wrong; it merely means I must press on all the more. Thank you, Blessed Mother Teresa - you continue to teach even now!

Unexpected Gift

Thank you, God, for the gift I received just now. Billy, my youngest son, on the cusp of his first day as a senior in high school, said I was the finest person he'd ever met (because I'm "so nice and trustworthy and everything"). He also reminded me that whatever good thing he becomes, it's in part because of me. I didn't expect this (how could one?), and I am filled with surprised gratitude. I certainly don't deserve it, but here it is. (He also said his dad is the hardest working person he knows. :)

Parenting is interesting. You stumble along, aware of all your imperfections in the process, knowing full well that you could have (and should have) done a much better job. Yet, somehow, despite all that, love comes back to us. God allows us the privilege to participate in shaping His creation. How generous He is!

Thank you, God, just thank you. And please bless both my sons, Bobby and Billy, and parents and children everywhere. May we reflect your love in the love we share with one another.

Baby Rowan

I just read about Rowan, a story that both touched and horrified me. Rowan was born alive in an abortion clinic after a botched second trimester abortion. He lived for 11 minutes. His mother, Angele, tried to save him, but was ignored by the clinic staff. The pictures of Rowan were difficult for me to see. His body was perfectly formed. Other than his tiny size, he looked like any other baby sleeping, with fully formed hands, feet and facial features. The thought that this little one, so clearly a human being, was destined for the dumpster was like a nightmare, but it is a real story, played out many times every day. What kind of culture is ours?

I was going to post a picture of Rowan, but I hesitated, because seeing him is not for the faint of heart. This is not because he is gruesome, but because he is not. He is beautiful, not worthy of such death. Please click on the link above for the story.

We must stop the killing of our most innocent life. Rowan did not do anything to deserve death. His mother, Angele, regrets the decision she made and will now live the rest of her life with the knowledge of his untimely death. Lest you think I condemn her, I don't. I was there once, too. Poor Angele. Poor Rowan. What is happening to us, that we kill those who do not harm us? Blood is on our hands.

Too many have died. Too many are wounded. Abortion kills, yes, but it also maims the souls of those left behind, of those at whose hands innocents have been destroyed. We must stop it. As Mother Teresa says, "It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you live as you wish."

Please, help stamp out this poverty. Let's not let another Rowan be left to die. And let's protect the other Angeles from being wounded. What can you do to help?

May Baby Rowan be carried to our Lord's bosom by our Mother, Mary. And may Angele know the peace only our Lord can give.

For help after an abortion, see here for Rachel's Vineyard.

Only That

I only want to say one thing: I'm grateful. Grateful to God. Just that... only that. The more I walk through life, the more I look back on the things that have occurred from my birth till now, the more I see God's direct hand of involvement in the events of my life. God is now so palpably real to me that His presence feels like "heavy air." (Odd description, I know, but strangely apt at the moment.*)

Yesterday as I transitioned from one job to another, I took a moment to enjoy a cup of coffee on an outdoor patio. I was lost in thought when my eye glanced at a small but vibrant berry-laden tree. I noticed that someone had fashioned the dirt around it so the tree was literally growing from the center of a heart. What a beautiful image! A heart rooted in Christ, like that patch of soil, would sprout life from its center, and such fruit-bearing life would nourish others, pointing them to Christ. Dare I hope for this?

Focus on the soil reminded me of the Parable of the Sower. While it is recorded in all the synoptic gospels (Matthew, Mark and Luke), something caught me as I reread Luke's version. Luke 8:15 says, "But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop." "...by persevering..." ! The crop (my image of the berry-laden tree) is produced by... persevering. Hearing and retaining the word are necessary, but I must also persevere to produce the desired crop.

In the Parable of the Vine and Branches, Jesus says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." I must persevere at remaining in Christ. I must seek Him through everything life brings, both the good and the bad. Only then will a tree of life with berry-laden branches spring from the soil of my heart. I dare to look forward to that with great anticipation.

God is good.

*After I wrote this, I remembered that CS Lewis described the presence of God in a somewhat similar way in one of his science fiction books, "Out of the Silent Planet."