"Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins; save us from the fires of hell, especially those in most need of thy mercy."
I long to pray, but I find all I can say is "Thy will be done." I feel frozen; I'm unsure how to pray anything more... or even if I should. A rock of sadness is wedged in my soul; I hold my breath, afraid to hope. The rock has been keeping me company for quite some time and despite the pain, I've grown accustomed to it.
Is my reluctance to pray for healing a lack of trust in God? Or is it a quiet knowing in my soul that I must endure this without complaint?
I know that pain is God's megaphone (CS Lewis) and that pain is used by God for our greater good (Romans 8:28). Is this particular pain necessary for me... or others? Or is it outside God's will?
I will grab the first fluttery butterfly wings of hope and dare to ask...
Lord, please resolve this situation...
...and help me to trust always in your love for me.